I friendship a good conspiracy theory. Mostly for the reason that it helps me systematically remove the many the crowd from my life dumb enough to credit things like Jenny McCarthy is muffle right about vaccines causing autism, or Obama is privately waiting until his second term to pilfer all your guns and hand them to Osama crib Laden who’s still alive. The stuff of fucking idiots whether you will. Anyway, one of the greater degree of prevalent conspiracy theories that people in earnest believe is the existence of the Illuminati and its recondite practice of employing celebrities like Kanye West and Lady GaGa to transmute the world to Satanism. Except sometimes these celebrities forget to drain the bathtub abounding of blood they just waded in by means of the Dark Lord’s preside over forcing a maid to report them to Scotland Yard and allowing New World Order-junkie sites like Truthquake.com to come by to the bottom of things:
A housekeeper at London’s Intercontinental Hotel reported without ceasing Sunday that Lady Gaga, during a antecedent stay this summer, left large amounts of life-current in the bathtub of the in fashion suite the pop princess occupied in July.
She reported the relating to the concierge, Andrea Miller, at the time and was told to express it out of her mind.
The female servant’s name is being withheld ~ means of Scotland Yard for her protection.
Whether this falling was a Satanic ritual or not is dark. [Ed. Note: Apparently you can correct add that line into news stories it being so that. "Joe Samson ordered his quarter pounder with extra pickles, but whether it was a Satanic formulary of worship or not is unknown."]
It was moreover noted to our reporter that at the time of the falling Lady Gaga met with leaders of the Scottish Rite Freemasons, what one. is an organization known to exist a link between the Illuminati and members of the British imperial family.
Using logic – my primeval mistake – I’d with appearance of truth remember that Lady GaGa is constantly covered by fake blood during her stage look, so that basically solves that calling. But then again, that’s exactly the sort of she wants us to think, likewise just assume she opened a passage-way to the demon world allowing Lucifer himself to be absorbed the United Nations using the Royal Cloak of Invisibility. Also, I design this pretty much proves it:
She performed by her band and later with the androgynous musician Sting.
The bisexual musician Sting?! We’re fucked.
Photos: Getty
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If you clicked through yesterday’s The Crap We Missed, you power have noticed Rihanna shooting a video in Ireland wearing what appears to be a bikini made revealed of red bandanas. Turns out the cultivator who owns the field also noticed and plant his good Catholic Protestant sensibilities to have ~ing offended. BBC News reports:
